Monday, November 2, 2015


Father in heaven, 

There is so much on my heart that I want to share. I get in the worship service, and know I need to be obedient to your voice. I know I need to worship at your altar. I am hesitant to come to the altar of the Lord. There is no  man made altar, but there is a altar in my heart as I am obedient to come forth into what God desires to do in His CHURCH. Help me to go... and either stand or kneel at your feet...not to be seen by man, but yet just one person will trigger another person to join me... I know I need to be obedient to your voice. There doesn't need to be a altar call, but only full obedience. I know you want to use me to speak words of life and hope to my church family...Help me not only to come to the banks of the river, but to wade out into the deep end and dive into your depths of your  river of worship.  I love you, for You are my ABBA! Your love is as vast as the ocean.... I surrender my whole heart of you today. I pray there is another Sunday in my life that I can be obedient to your Holy Spirit and put aside the flesh. Please forgive me for being disobedient to your voice and I hear you now.

I need you Jesus, I need to come forth to my rightful place as a heir of Christ. Cleanse me with your blood, anoint my words and my steps as I lean the weight of my personality upon you.  I trust you...

Sunday, October 25, 2015

What is Your Passion???

God has impressed on me to share about my passion for Him...

The Holy Spirit has revealed to me that  it is about much more than just going to church every Sunday. 

On the outside eye it may look like I am being religious about being at church goer. But for me it is way more about what is going on behind those doors.  There is just something about being around a group of Passionate pursuers of the  presence of God.

God has given a passion for His Presence and that is what  motivates me beyond anything else on this universe. 

The thing that besets me is that no one else in my family has that passion, and that concerns me. My prayer is that God reveals those false passions, and causes everything else to fall away. 

The fire of God cleanses me as I walk out that passion that stirs me to reach out of my comfort zone, and seek out that remnant that is resolved to get in the presence of God at any cost...

So, what is your passion and what does it drive you to do. I believe with all my heart that there is a internal key that unlocks it. What i believe that means is that what is deep in your heart will bubble to the surface, whether it is pure or impure. 

A tree is known for its fruit!  Just like what I am trying to say is that if passion for God is grated in your soul, it will come forth...whatever your passion is will surface!

Father, I pray that you reveal our hearts, turn our false motives and deep seated sins into passsionate pursuits of Your Presence deep within our hearts! Amen!

If you grow a healthy tree, you’ll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you’ll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree. Matthew 12:33 Message Bible

Where He leads Me....

Hi fellow readers and bloggers! I thought I would write a line, or two, or three....Ha!  God is moving and doing awesome and great things, new things in my life.

Back several years ago, I started having re-occurring dreams about me playing the guitar very skillfully. So, you know what I did, I went out and brought one. In 2011 one winter day I had nothing better to do so I started taking online guitar lessons. That lasted only a short season of time. I did not get really far but I did  learn some fundamental chords.

Here recently I sensed the desire welling up in me again to restart the lessons back up and I have. It has been about a week, and I am amazed of my playing in that short time frame. I was able to pick back up where I left off in 2011 and I have added strumming to my lessons. It is remarkable and I have a really good feeling about eventually playing the guitar skillfully in God's time frame. I may take 3 months to a year, but I know I am doing what I can to master this instrument.

I have put blogging on the back-burner, but If the Holy Spirit urges me to get on my blog and write I am going to follow His leading.  I haven't given up on writing that book.

I am excited about what the Lord is doing in my life. Who knows what doors will open tomorrow. I do that at times when one door opens another one closes.  I do not feel that my writing will be neglected but will flourish, in Jesus name.

I ask you to pray that my new adventure with the guitar will bear much fruit. My all-time dream is to one day be on a worship team. I can see it in the far off distance. God has given me a dream--a vision of these two gifting's to come forth in due time, and I know that they both will blossom and grow spreading into all that God has for these two talents in my life.


Sunday, September 13, 2015

"Rest in Peace Doreen Bailey."

     Last week I had a death in my family.  My stepmom passed away in her sleep on September 1st.  It was a shock to all of us family and her friends.  She will be greatly missed.  I did not think that her passing away would affect me like it has.  I would do anything to bring comfort to my dad and brother.  I just don't know how or what to do, but pray that the Holy Spirit would bring them peace in this time of grieving and loss.  

You are so loved and missed. There is not a day that goes bye that you are not in my thoughts and in my heart. One day we will see each other again...



Tuesday, August 18, 2015

You are a Contender...

     The biggest battle we fight daily is not what we think we are actually struggling with. We can not wrestle with our demons in our own power.  That will only make us feel defeated as the end result. We will want to throw in the towel and allow the devil to win the match...

     The most spiritual battle every Christian must wage every day is "contending for our faith." The enemy of our souls would like to rob us of the supernatural flow of that unfailing grace. 

     I exhort you to really think about it for a minute... In our own minds our flesh makes it seem that trusting God is so superficial and visible. But finding our faith by all means can be a very deep,  and enriching experience. We must keep at it no matter what, and really dig into the depths of our heart for it until we strike pure gold of that tried and tested Faith that comes by the all consuming fire of God... 

     Once we tap into the living waters of our faith, mercy over flows into our lives taking over, and virtually makes us unstoppable as good soldiers of KING JESUS!

     There will be times when we are just tired of trying to muster up that truth in God. We have got to hold on and dig deeper and harder to surpass all our own carnal religious thinking; and thus, forsaking all and trusting God...putting on all our full armor to protect and take up our shield of Faith that will quench all the fiery darts of hell.

     We should trust God and not trust in our flesh. Letting it rule our lives will make us very miserable. We must live in the Spirit of the Lord Jesus...walking by faith and not by sight!!

     It is a all out war but even a mustard seed faith is a trite trickle that flows out of your spirit and from your lips professing and claiming the promises of God found in the holy scriptures.

     Hold on to those promises in the Word of God and do not forget them. His Word will not fail you.  Keep trusting and believing God for that mountain moving faith that only He can give!

Jude 1:3 - Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

What has been going on? "New Journey's!"

     It has been awhile since I have wrote on my blog about what is going on in my life right now. I guess the major page turner was when I went on a road trip with my youngest son, Jeremy. I am a tad bit on the heavy side and it was doing all I could to keep up with him. (Okay, maybe more than a tad...Ha!)  

     What turned into a casual drive and visit with family turned into a major shifting in my life from where I was before the trip. I really cannot go into all the specific details, but some revelations rocked my emotions and shocked me to the core. I do go into specific areas about my life in my blog, but I cannot divulge conversations and happenings on my trip to Arkansas/Texas.  I know you as a reader will understand and respect that.  What I can say is what transpired once I got home to Mississippi.

     I have finally gotten serious with my health issues, and one of the new journeys I am on is weight loss. Since I got back from my trip I have lost a total of 31 pounds! I was fasting at first then I went on into Weight Watchers. I will go ahead and mention here that I was at the heaviest I have ever been and that is 275 pounds, and now I am at 244. I have a medium frame and my height is 5'6" if you can imagine that. My weight was very visible, and even with my successful weight loss I still have a ways to go.

     Several weeks before I left on my trip I had wrote a story on my back injury in 1990. In the midst of the time-frame that I have lost weight I had a fall, that broke a rod in my back. At this point, there will be no surgery. So all is well currently on my back situation except bending and standing for long periods.

     The last thing I want to mention is that I have taken a step out of Richard's little world into volunteer work. I am working at Animal Rescue Center in the town I live in. I work with the cats, and cleaning cat cages. Some of you may know that I have been on disability since 2002. That has not changed. Schizophrenia is a very real and daily issue that I will always have to deal with. There is a lot of stigma's behind this mental health disease. People with this illness are not in the slightest bit stupid or violent and that they are under-achievers.  If any thing my brain works overtime.

    This is where I am right now in my life. I know some of you are wondering if I will still be blogging? The answer to that is, "Yes."
Even though I have a different schedule now, I will still be seeking God to write what He would have me to, and I ask you to keep me in your prayers. I know that My Father in Heaven is still beckoning me with inspirations to write for the Glory of what Jesus has done in and through my life so that I can help give hope and encouragement to my brothers and sisters in Christ.


Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Lifted Up

One dreary day in 1990, I stumbled upon a monstrous beast called a coal stacker.  In many ways it reminded me of a giant brontosaurus out of the Jurassic era.  It was a large machine in proportion, used at electrical plants to transport coal from one area to the next.  Its intricacies are even more difficult for me to describe in tangible words, because of the magnitude of this apparatus.  There were four levels with stairs to each part of this beast.  

     The grizzly boss’s name was George, and I helped him set up the company blasting machine.  It had a long hose with a spray gun at the end, just like what you see at a car wash.  This cleaning contraption had a generator and a large tank where you store the water.   When you cut the motor on the hose pressurizes, supercharging the water at an extreme force to wherever it’s aimed at.  Our task entailed cleaning the coal off every part of this looming monstrosity.  George had a bad attitude that day which added to my nervous condition.

     After a lengthy time of working at the top level of the coal stacker, I motioned for George, “Can you take over for now? I am getting tired and need a break.”
     In his hateful demeanor He yelled, “Why sure Ronny, I don’t have anything else in my plans!”

     He jerked the spray gun from my hand. I inwardly cowered biting my lip, silently thinking I would not speak to him for the rest of the day.

     I then made my way down to check the water in the tank.   I clamored down to the first level, a dizzying twenty feet off the ground.  To be safe I avoided the steps, because water was coming down the dinosaur’s neck.  I opted to take a nearby ladder that was fastened to the nemesis. I hurriedly made my way down, then all I remember is free falling to the ground.   

     My body jolted as I landed on the concrete slab under the coal stacker.  I laid there stunned as to what had just transpired.  The ladder only went down four feet from its top rung.

     The only alternative that ran through my mind at that moment was to turn off the blazing motor of the blasting machine.   I had the feeling that I would have been lying there all day, if someone even noticed me.  George would never hear me or see where I had fallen since he was still working at the top level on the other side.  

I was fully conscious as I cried out to God with every ounce of strength I could muster, “God in Heaven, please guide Your Angels to help me make it to the truck, so that I can get George’s attention!”

     All of the sudden I felt unseen agents from God lift me up from the ground to standing position.   I walked very slowly as I realized I was in extreme pain.  I made my way to the truck, turning off the motor to the blasting machine. After a several minute wait, George came down from the coal stacker.   

He fumed as I told him that I had fell, “I just do not believe you. You are making an ill attempt to get out of working!”

     I remained resistant to his verbal abuse as I got slowly into the truck.   He got in the truck, cut on the ignition and drove rather fast.  It seemed as if He was purposely hitting every bump on the dirt road.  

     He snickered haughtily, “How are you feeling now?” I just silently sat there anxious to get home so I could go to the doctor. 

     I made it to the medical clinic, where I was immediately transported to the Emergency Room. The X-rays showed that I had two fractured vertebra and splattered one.  
     The surgeons were able to fuse some of my hip bone to the fractures, and repair the damaged cartilage - placing two rods in my lower back.  My family prayed and hoped for the best.  I am thankful that God and His angels had been in the room guiding the operation. George even called afterwards and apologized for being so hostile.

     Through rehabilitation and in a year’s time, I was able to go back to work with only limited mobility to not lift anything over thirty pounds.
Authors Note:  Google “Coal Stacker” to see images of it.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

The Secret

You are a privileged saint of God if He has let you in on a secret.  He must trust you completely to disclose something very personal to His heart..  Do you trust Him to take you to that very vulnerable place of invisible faith?

If you have had someone tell you a secret, you know you must guard it, and not let anyone know what has been disclosed to you. Would you dare to dwell in that sacred place, or allow your flesh to get in the way from knowing God to the full extent that He decloses things to you not to tell.

For years I have read Psalms 91:1 I believe very few have found that secret place. Very few know "the secret."  Wouldn't you want to be trusted enough to know what that secret is? 

We have allowed the cares of this world to choke us tie us down.  I beleive God greatly desires to disclose a secret 

God is holding a secret from you, and the only way you will ever know what it is is to get to know him more intimately. 

Some of us are afraid to get intimate with God, we dont understand it, and what it represents.

I hear the Spirit of God whispering "Come close to me." In these last days He desires greatly for us to draw near into his secret place.

Some secrets are better left unsaid until he beckons you to let the saints of God know.

You are special and precious to Him. He loves you, for He loves to have a personal relationship with Him, and that can only come through the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.

Come Holy Spirit! Let us in on what you intimately know....bring us into the place where you disclose the secrets of God to us, that will one day be shouted from the mountain tops!