Thursday, November 27, 2014

Victory over Depression

     To the mighty deliverer, I cry out to You Christ Jesus... I thank you for the many times I have cried out to you to deliver me from these dark clouds, and you have crushed them by the mighty weight of Your great grace.  Help me to know and see how GREAT You really are!

     I once again come to you broken, bruised and crushed; and ask you to deliver me from myself. The way I have dwelt with things in the past would be to do nothing more than to climb under a rock and hide...but you have not called me to a life of isolation and loneliness. It has only made me worse in the past.   You have called me to stand UP on the rock. You have called me to be among Your people, no matter what.

     At times I wonder just how many times I can be misused and kicked around by the enemy of my soul?  That's how I really feel, just like someone has knocked me around and has me pinned down in a boxing ring match...

     Is that what it is all about?  I just don't think so. Help me to rise up Father in the Mighty strength of your Son, Jesus, and put the devil in His place!

     Jesus I thank you for the victory in you tonight, I pray that it lingers and laps over days and months. Yes, your mercy is new every morning...and your the river of your grace will never run dry!

    All I can say is Thank you Jesus for your Presence is so sweet.   Your victory has come forth for me tonight, I do not really know what the switch was? But I am glad that you have touched my heart and my mind with Your Holy Spirit. For that is the only way...

Monday, November 17, 2014

Wrestling with Calling--NO MORE!!

     For several months now I have wrestled with this calling of me being a prophet. I pray I am not wrestling with God. But a dear prophetess helped me to realize that for now, I am only called to minister to those on the internet.  There are many lost and hurting souls on the internet in the hundreds if not the thousands. 


     I know that a mantle can mean many things, And not necessarily a calling.  I have learned a valuable lesson in that a mantle represents a spiritual covering as well as authority and a special anointing.

     I was excited when I first thought that is what that had meant that it was my calling.  I thought my ship had finally come in... But it became a real burden when I did not speak Words of prophecy in the worship services at the church I go to or to people.   I can already tell that the burden lifted when the prophetess spoke that word in my group.  Here is what i just wrote on Facebook but just decided to put it in my blog:

     "Several months ago, I wrote a blog on a supernatural experience I had with God and because of that He was calling me into the prophetic ministry.  Saying all that, since then, I have come to the realization that this must only be a gifting and not a true call. All that receiving of a prophetic calling has caused me was a lot of heartache and discouragement.   I usually come home after church and wrote about anything the Lord had shared with me during the worship service.

     I  have felt like I was not living up to the measure that God had portioned to me. Can anyone relate or imagine how that must have felt?  I have been online writing and ministering to people since the year 2000. If I am called any place it is ministering to the lost and hurting people on the internet who have no other place that can go to worship God...or maybe they are not able to leave the house to go to church. It is all I really have to fall back upon.

     People can be really crude and very mean, but the fact of the matter is that there are many people who thrive on internet christian friendships or even searching for a true word from God and Christian fellowship on the internet. I pray my group provides that place for all people who are truly seeking after the things of God. 

     I have changed the name of my Facebook group to "A Hand of Grace Ministries." I pray that God will use it in many ways to minister to people on the internet not just through prophecy. From time to time I will be ministering to people there... giving prophecies and praying for people. Who knows what the Lord will lead me to do? I am thankful my focus is back on Him, and not on some kind of performance I can never live or measure up to."

Monday, October 27, 2014

Just another Sunday Morning....Has that what it has come to??


     What if Jesus actually walked through the church doors one Sunday service?  How would the atmosphere change, or would it?  I believe Jesus is visiting the church in these last days, and we are unaware of  the Lord wanting to bring restoration and healing to the church body.

     Would people still make excuses as Jesus himself motioned to his bride to come out of their pew? It is almost as if Satan himself has us chained there!! If we are a true Spirit-filled believer, satan  or any demon should not be controlling our worship in a worship service at church!!

     If the King of Kings showed up, would the service come to a screeching halt, as He invited us to come to the front to commune with His Spirit?

     Why would his bride just be sitting there, or would not she be ecstatic as her bridegroom entered the chambers of His own dwelling place?  

     Why are we so stuck to our pews? Jesus is not coming back to a lifeless bride or a corpse...

     A lot of times, its not about the social event, or the worship music, or the preaching, its about getting Jesus getting up close and intimate with His bride.

     But some people act like it is a spiritual duty to be religiously stuck to the same routine Sunday after Sunday.  We act as if it is our dutiful sacrifice to God...

     I hate to admit it but I  have become one of those people. It's not that I do not want to slip out of my pew, but I don't want to step out and stifle the flow of whats going on.  As I write this I don't see where anything at this point, would hurt  but help the flow of the Holy Spirit.  

     That  makes me wonder if more feel that way. I know that the Lord would rather me be saying this during the service than in my blog,  then maybe it would help others to step out, myself included.

Sunday at church I had the impression that Jesus was in the church service and several people took his hand and went into the river with Him, but alot did not take his hand...

I watched Sunday morning as the waters were stirred, and I felt the service was moving in the right direction...

During most of the Sunday services I am in more worship intercession for the church body during the service. One service I  repeated prayed that the Lion of the tribe of Judah would come forth..I and I always pray that each person would receive a touch of the Holy Spirit...that the Lion of Judge would appear and roar would shake us to our spiritual senses and wake up His sleeping bride.  

     Will you be there, will you be ready, Im afraid some of us have not arrived yet...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

The End is Very Near!! Are you ready??

Is it that I am just slow, or does it seem like current world and national events are happening faster and faster? I believe that is one of the indications that the end-times are here and happening so fast that it will catch some people unaware before they know what is really happening. It is like for me that time is "racing" for a certain destination and its not a good one for some of us, and the unrepentant and stubborn people and nations on this earth. I just sense a urgency in my spirit to be as diligent as I am able to, to do what God would have me do my part in ministering to all people to get their hearts ready. I believe it goes way beyond just having a prophetic group on Facebook or writing a blog on Google. I mean that is all well and good but time is running out. Will there by a day when we don't have the internet? I have a sense that before it is said and done we will not have a social media such as facebook. 

I pray that whoever reads this will realize it is too late in the day to be playing around with the things of this world especially if you claim to be a believer in Jesus Christ. But for anyone who knows better and still wallows in the filth of this world I pray you will not be a casualty and wind up in hell. I take my salvation and purpose here on this earth very seriously. I have also made my share of mistakes in this life. My heart has grieved many losses and at times I haven't been at my best. I cannot blame anyone but myself. I have moved on to the best of my ability. If you never read another post from me, I really hope you will stop and read this one. Tomorrow may be too late. Do what you have to do to get your heart right before God. Read and study the Holy Bible as much as you can, and pray pray pray. and bond with the people in body of Christ. There is no excuse, and you will cannot blame anyone but yourself when you stand before God in heaven. I didn't intend for this to be so lengthy but there is no short of sweet words to say this. I just pray you are ready.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Healer is Here

     This morning at church I was reminded of the woman in the Bible that was pressing in to touch just even the hem of the garment of Jesus. 

     I believe there may be some of you who are pressing in for your healing.   I believe there is a time and season to press in.

     You are praying like her,  "if I could only, just get to Him to touch him I would be made whole in my body and soul."  

     I'm here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with pressing into God. 

     I am also here to tell you that "the veil has been torn!" your healing has already taken place, you just need to enter in and receive what God has already done for you.  There is a time to abide in what He has already done for you!

     By the blood of Jesus I am telling you that your healing is here the victory is already there right where you are! Praise God. 

     When Jesus died that day on the cross, the veil was torn. and is still torn to this day in the spirit, so that you have divine direct access into the very presence of God. 

      The Healer is here, nothing is standing in your way for going straight to Jesus and claiming what is yours already rightfully yours in the Spirit. 

     I pray that you walk in His healing grace this day, for it has already been signed sealed, and delivered!  

Saturday, September 27, 2014

The Missing Piece

    All the pieces fit into the puzzle.

some pieces are easily more found

then connected

others are more difficult

and take time 

patience and

great  will and strength

to figure out.

But if you lose a piece

you can never replace it

the whole puzzle is


Walk One Mile...

     I am glad the Lord "Jesus" has not rejected me.  That should make me glad in my heart.  When I "thought" that all my old issues with rejection were all past me, somewhere in the recesses of my soul it has reared its very ugly head, it all goes back to feeling rejection from especially the men in my family,  and my peers, plus the fact of self-rejection, which in my terminology means, "I judge and reject people before they reject me."  

     I wish it all would just go away, instead it makes me feel very lonely, isolated, and just plain sad... and some people wonder why I am on the internet so much...I can make friends on here and not be condemned or judged by my flesh.  They don't judge me in the flesh but they see straight to my heart and spirit.

     Walk a mile in my shoes, and I will buy you a brand new pair!!! You may just see why I don't have many earthly friends.

     It all just lets me know that, God has a awesome plan for my life and that I am still a great work in progress still, and that He has not finished working Christ and forming Him into my body and soul.

     And yet, I stand-firm and stay strong in Christ no matter how or what storm rages around me.  No matter how many people are ready to judge and condemn me, I stand-firm in the grace and love of God.  That is worth way more to me, than what men thinks of me which is not worth its weight in gold. or it shouldn't be. 

     I am always reminded of the people who are pointing the finger has 3 more fingers pointing back at them. Also this, with the measure you judge me, it will be measured back to you. If you sow judgement, you will reap its harvest on yourself...  I would never judge anyone from the lack of understanding all the evidence,  not that we need to be gathering evidence to judge and reject one of your brothers in Christ.

     I just always wanted to fit it, instead I feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I don't understand the hurt,  and all the work, all the walls, all the mannerisms I have attempted to structure my heart around crumble and fall at the feet of no-one but Jesus. He is the only one who sees in to my heart and collects all my tears in a bottle, and looks through this shell of a man to see the trouble and scared little boy who did not know any better... He sees the crushing weight of my own insecurities and personality.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18 (NIV)

The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.  Psalms 118:22 (NIV)

Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love for me!  Psalms 66:20 (NIV)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Dear Saints of God...

I write this with a sad heart.  My friend and brother in Christ, George Pennicuff, who passed away a couple of months ago has left behind a widow. She loves him dearly.  He was from the United States but felt a call to go to to the Philippines. He met Mariver there and they married and they lived happily up until George passed into Glory...  I urge you to watch this video that Mariver recently made.   George had a channel as YouTube and ministered there as well. She is having difficulty paying the hospital bill there.  If you feel led by the Holy Spirit, give what He urges you to give.  Her email is